Thoughts and Feelings
Someone once told me, "don't believe everything you think." This really stuck with me through my own recovery and I even think of it now in certain situations when my thoughts have a tendency of spiraling--usually involving riffs in interpersonal relationships.
It is especially valuable for anyone trying to recover from an eating disorder to separate oneself from one's thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings will eventually pass; however, when one acts on the urges those thoughts and feelings invoke, it can lead to prolonged self destructive behaviors. Eventually those behaviors can become deeply entrenched habits, occurring even without the trigger of the original thought or feeling because that action made you feel safe, relieved, or assuaged some other uncomfortable feeling at one point.
As I said before, thoughts and feelings WILL eventually pass. And even more importantly, the urge brought on by your thoughts and feelings will pass as well. In fact, attempts to AVOID the feelings leads to a build up of emotions thoughts and feelings that is bound to unleash at some point. (Usually in self destructive ways). There is power in the inaction, sitting with the feeling, surfing the urge, and allowing it to pass. In no way am I saying that this practice of sitting with feelings and urges is easy, but doing so certainly helps take away the power of cognitive distortions. If this sounds impossible, don't worry, we will go over exercises during our coaching that will help you transform your thoughts and dispel your feelings.
Thoughts are powerful, and when you are struggling with an eating disorder, many of your thoughts contain inaccurate information also referred to as cognitive distortions. In order to change your feelings and behaviors, it is imperative to look at the way you think. During the coaching process, I will help you challenge any cognitive distortions that apply to the way you think.
As far as feelings go, it is important to understand that your feelings are inside of you, not who you are. You can practice this by saying, "I have anger inside my body," rather than, "I AM angry!" You can also use counter behaviors and actions to dispel uncomfortable feelings from the body. For example, if you find yourself crossing your arms and bowing your head when you feel shame, a way to combat this would be to uncross your arms lift your head and make eye contact. Even one of these can help break up the shame. Taking long and deep breaths is one of the fastest and easiest was to neutralize intense feelings and get your body back to a calm state. Try breathing out a few seconds longer than you breathe in (for example, breathe in for 4 and out for 6). I also like to put both hands over my heart while I do this. Breathing is something you can do anytime and anywhere, which is why it is so great.
All of this may feel difficult, uncomfortable and/or overwhelming at first, but over time it will get easier and help unravel the thought, feeling, urge, action chain that is fueling your eating disorder. It IS possible to do and that I am here to support them through you process as your coach. And remember, being recovered is possible! I did it and so can you. Love and Light.