My Story
If you are visiting this page, chances are you or someone you care about is struggling with an eating disorder and is thinking about getting help. If someone had told me 20 years ago that I would make it through my darkest hour to a place of being fully recovered, I wouldn't have believed them. I remember this moment like it was yesterday as I was sitting in my Berkeley apartment, sophomore year of college. I was so scared and overwhelmed. I didn't think there was any hope for me. But I did recover and so can you.
Hi, I'm Jenny Mullaney. Growing up, I was a competitive dancer and conscientious student. I was the epitome of a perfectionist and I had super anxious tendencies along with negative thoughts and feelings about my body. I felt ashamed that my belly was bigger than my friends' and that dance costumes would fit in every place besides my waist. This insecurity was further reinforced by my mom who encouraged me to cutback on my food intake, took away my favorite 2-piece, and even asked the doctor why I was fat. My needs and body felt inherently wrong, bad, and shameful, but I'm not sure anyone really noticed what was happening.
I started yo-yo dieting around adolescence and adopted other unnatural behaviors with food. Despite the diets, debilitating anxiety, as well as depression, I managed to graduate valedictorian of my high school class. I decided to attend UC Berkeley; however, this wasn't my first choice and I dealt with the rejection by my dream school, UCLA, by further obsessing over my food and exercise.
It wasn't enough that I was dancing countless hours a week, I started running. One mile turned into two, three, four, five, and so on. I started counting every calorie I ate and purged when I felt the immense shame and guilt of eating what I thought was too much. I can remember sitting in dance rehearsal literally counting goldfish crackers and writing it down in my journal.
This was the tipping point when my disordered eating went into full blown binge/purge anorexia. So much of my life felt out of control; however, I COULD control the number I saw on the scale. As it turned out, I was really good at making it go lower. It felt like a contest I could win.
My eating disorder had completely overtaken the healthy part of my mind and body. Despite my best efforts to continue dancing, keep up with my studies, and make a life in Berkeley, I couldn't escape the gnawing feelings of deep-seated inadequacy. My eating disorder spiraled out of control.
During my sophomore year of college, my dear friend and roommate confronted me about my eating disorder. She noticed my frequent trips to the bathroom and significant weight loss. "Jen, you are wasting away and you don't even see it. I don't know what to do!" While my parents were still turning a blind eye, she asserted a boundary-- she would no longer live with me until I got the treatment I desperately needed. It was her courage that helped me make the hard and necessary decision to leave UC Berkeley and look into residential treatment.
While back at home, I ended up in the hospital due to complications from my eating disorder, but even that didn't really shake me. I was in such a deep depression that I didn't care if I died. In my mind, I'd rather die than gain a pound.
For years, I wasn't sure how I allowed myself to surrender and seek residential treatment. In hindsight, it must have been that small, little part of me--the "healthy self"-- that wanted to get better. The same “healthy self” that brings you here to this page. I learned that the battle wasn't between others and my eating disorder; it was between my eating disorder and my healthy self. I was lucky that I had a treatment team that knew how to strengthen my healthy self rather than duke it out with my eating disorder. This is now the same approach I take with my own clients.
I started Recovered is Possible to give back to the same community that forever changed the course of my life. In 2017, I enrolled in the Carolyn Costin Institute (CCI) to become a Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach. Being trained and supervised by the same woman who treated me has made everything come full circle. I made meaning out of one of my darkest hours and my heart couldn't feel more full.
I subscribe to the philosophy that one can be fully recoverED from an eating disorder, as I myself am recovered. I no longer have eating disorder thoughts or urges. In fact, I believe I have a better relationship to food, body, and exercise than most people who have never had an eating disorder.
I am so excited and passionate about sharing the lessons I learned in recovery, and through the CCI certification course, with my clients. I take an individualized approach to coaching and believe in meeting each client where they are at in order to find a path of healing. Being RECOVERED IS POSSIBLE, and I am here to help you.
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By reaching out to me, you get to meet with the person who will help you on your journey. By filling out this form you are taking a big step towards your recovery. Recovered is Possible.
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Qualifications
Carolyn Costin Institute
Certification
Certified Eating Disorder Recovery Coach
CCI trains coaches how to best support a client and the client’s treatment team to assist clients in making the necessary day to day behavior changes necessary for recovery.
For years in her private practice and her various treatment programs, Carolyn Costin trained both licensed and non-licensed individuals skills not taught in traditional counseling and therapy programs, such as how to eat with clients, take them grocery shopping or to buy new clothes. These are tasks are now performed by eating disorder coaches, as an adjunct to traditional treatment.
The field of eating disorder coaching is rapidly growing, yet, until now, no formal, rigorous training programs existed, thus she realized the need and the Carolyn Costin Institute was born. CCI is the first to offer a sophisticated, thorough, rigorous certification program.
The coaching program has attracted students from all over the world, with incredibly diverse backgrounds and life experiences: From therapists who desire more eating disorder training, to chefs, housewives and recovered individuals who want the skills to help those with eating disorders recover.
A Carolyn Costin Institute Eating Disorder Coach assists clients in reaching their treatment goals in real life situations, providing support, appropriate challenges, and serving as both role model and guide.
Coaching is an important aspect of an overall strategy for treating individuals with eating disorders. In essence, coaches provide a crucial aspect of treatment by accompanying clients in everyday situations and providing exposure and response prevention.
University of California, Berkeley and Antioch University
Degree
Bachelors Degree
University of California, Berkeley
The University of California, Berkeley (UC Berkeley, Berkeley, Cal, or California) is a public research university in Berkeley, CA. Founded in 1868, it is the oldest campus of the University of California system and ranks among the world's top universities in major educational publications. Berkeley offers over 350 degree programs through its 14 colleges and schools.
Antioch University
Built on the ideals of equality and progress. Since its founding in 1852, Antioch University has stayed at the forefront of social justice, inclusion, and equality for all people, regardless of ethnicity, gender, creed, orientation, or ability. Throughout its 165-year history, Antioch has attracted students who took the Antioch values out into the world. Many Antioch alumni, such as Coretta Scott King and Winona LaDuke, have stood for social and environmental justice, and made a difference in the policies and ideologies of the world to the betterment of all.